→

Figuring out God’s will isn’t easy…  Taking steps of faith without knowing that will for certain is even harder…  Jumping off of cliffs into nothingness is… well… read on.

Have you ever stood on a cliff (figuratively) and known that the only way down was to jump…. but if you jumped, you couldn’t see the ground because the fog covered the path you had to travel… So it was a blind jump.  What is at the bottom?  What will you be screaming towards on this mile high fall?  Foam?  Water?  Pavement?  You don’t know.  But you DO KNOW, that you MUST jump.  You can’t stay here any longer… because here… here sucks.

Yeah… it is scary not knowing what God has in store for you when you take that leap… but what really sucks is when you feel God has led you to the top of this cliff for a reason… and when you get there, the light stops leading you, and you just stand there wondering “what next?”  Then the fear sets in.  You realize that since your focus has left the leading of God, you start to look around at where you are… You see the cliff’s steep edge.  You see the dark sky above and the narrow path you’ve walked to this point.  You can’t see the ground over the edge.  You see that your path has ended at this cliff and there is nowhere left to turn.  You know you’re stuck here and so you think, “What if I just go back the way I came?” and when you think that, you turn around to find that a thick fog has engulfed that path so much so that EVEN if you DID try to walk it… you’d lose the path and fall anyway.  So what now God?  What now?  “WHAT NOW GOD???” you scream… but He doesn’t answer…. why?  I don’t know… maybe this is a test of faith.  Maybe if God told you what to do… it’s just too simple.

It’s funny how we always look for the way that seems safest to us.  “I don’t want to jump!” you say… I think back to when Jesus was on his hands and knees crying to his Father in heaven… “My Father, if it is possible, take this cup from me.  But your will be done, not mine.”  Jesus didn’t want to jump.  But Jesus knew that if he DIDN’T jump, then he wasn’t acting in accordance to God’s will.  Jesus was crucified.  A broken body… Bleeding side… Nail shaped scars… proof that Jesus jumped.  Do you think it was easy for God to watch his son take on the sins of the world and be crucified?  Do you think God rejoiced at that moment?  God doubled over in anguish as this happened… but God knew it had to be done.

But the story doesn’t end there.  Jesus came back just as the Bible had foretold…  Jesus jumped, and the world was saved.  Jesus took his step of faith and because of that, we have hope.  Jesus followed God’s leading all his life EVEN when he knew the leap he’d eventually have to take.  So Jesus didn’t want to jump… but he did.

Now back to you.  You’re standing on this cliff with no other options… and you remember that you don’t want to jump, but neither did Jesus… You start yelling at God for not showing you where to go now… But God’s thinking… “I’ve led you here safely.  I’ve clouded the path backwards.  I’ve shown you the jump to take.  What haven’t I done for you?”

Is it really that we don’t know where God wants us to go?  Or is it that we are too scared to jump and demand another option?  Faith isn’t just following God’s calling, rather trusting in God’s provision even when you CAN’T see it at work in your life.  I think in the end, the important question isn’t “Where do I go?” “Should I jump?” or “What is at the bottom?” rather… “When I DO jump, do I trust that God will catch me?”

Mood:  Scared… but trusting God.
Music:  P.O.D. – Thinking About Forever

Leap of Faith?

Standing on the brink of eternity,

I glance down over the edge.

Not quite knowing,

For it’s not showing,

What’s there when I jump from this ledge.

So I step to the last possible inch,

Pebbles slide over as I creep.

Nothing here is new.

Fog engulfs my view.

Stopping me from knowing how deep.

Clouds roll together overhead.

Violent gray masses with shades of black.

Trees rustle their leaves,

Confusion the night air weaves,

As the cold wind presses against my back.

Pushing me forward, urging me to jump…

I never knew how cold a tear can feel.

Until this night air,

Conjured this despair,

I never knew a pain stinging so real.

My world has been pulled and violently turned,

Uprooted where the fires of love once burned.

Youth has slipped away,

And death has come to stay,

In the land where my will to live once yearned.

So here I stand staring into the sky,

A broken man, with nothing left I cry.

Stars sparkle their light,

The moon upholds the night,

And I fear I’ve lost the will to try.

Suddenly the wind stops blowing in my ear.

Peace implores of me, “What have you left to fear?”

My gaze drops down,

I’m forced to frown,

Upon these wrinkled hands burdened each year.

All works have been so futile to my name,

Choked by the ashes of that which once fueled my flame.

Soon I’m gone.

A worthless pawn.

Whose king has been captured, ending this game.

Thunder rumbles as the sea crashes down it’s rage,

A violent entity which none can cage.

My soul swims, but I frown,

Slowly I sit and watch him drown…

Payment in full for my sinful wage.

I evaluate my situation,

And look once more in anticipation.

On a cliff so high,

Jumping, knowing not why,

But that in life, I can’t change the station.

My vision is of night; natures eye patch,

All hope of light gone; I’ve burned my last match.

Tumbling towards rocks below,

How far, fast; I don’t know…

Once more, I’m finding out… if God will catch…

                                                Brent Pirolli
                                                 11/4/99