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Tying Up Loose Ends

Ok… so I think I have this whole guest list fiasco solved now.  (I say “think” because when dealing with women there is no “know.” )

I received some counsel from some friends of mine, and came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t worth fighting over with my mother and Tom.  If they weren’t going to budge on the issue then I certainly didn’t want to bring Sarah into the family with that kind of argument.

Kathy Shortridge (My Best Man’s mom… like a second mother to me ) told Sarah and I tonight that her opinion was that we be the bigger people and give in.  She pointed out Paul’s words for us,  “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)  She, like Luke said that she doesn’t for a minute think we are wrong in wanting to KNOW our guests at the wedding, but this isn’t worth bringing up such a rift in our relationships.

So we decided to go ahead and let my mom invite the 24 other guests to the wedding.  Sarah was really hurt and upset that my parents are being so stubborn on the issue… and she really wants our wedding to be a room of people who know and love us and wish to see us grow together for the rest of our lives… not 1 out of every 5 people being someone we don’t know at all!  But she was willing to give in this time.

Well, to make a long story … uhhh…. less long… Sarah and I agreed reluctantly and I talked to my mom tonight.  I explained to her that we were going to obey Paul’s command and give in.  But I also explained that it was Sarah’s dream to have her one and only wedding day be spent with people who know us and support us… more than just a free party… I told my mom that I don’t think it’s such a great way to invite her into the family by telling her how her wedding day has to happen… But that ultimately the decision was hers (my mom’s).

About 20 minutes later my mom returned (she had went to talk to Tom) and said that at this point she doesn’t want to invite her friends if she knows that we don’t want them there… That it’s not just an issue of money, but that they’re not welcome… She’s not happy and thinks that we’re being selfish still, but she’s telling us to not invite them unless we want them.  I told her I’m not asking her to agree with us or our reasoning, but just to support us and be happy for us.  She said ok.

I spent the next 20 minutes talking to my mom to make sure she knew what she was saying and to make sure she wouldn’t let this be stored up as bitterness and resentment towards Sarah and I in the future.  She says that she’s upset now, but won’t let this get in the way of her relationship with Sarah in the future…. so HOPEFULLY… she’s telling the truth… (they’re women… women bring up issues 8 years later…. who knows!)

She also said that she’s not telling her co-workers yet in case Sarah has a “change of heart”… I told her to not count on it, but I’ll stick with that plan.  Then when time gets short and if the decision is still where it is, she’ll tell her co-workers that we wanted a smaller wedding with just family and a few friends.  (That’s actually true!  We expect over 200 people, but that’s REALLY small for us!  Only 100 per side!  If we added everyone we knew to it, we’d have over 500 invited!)  I showed my mom the actual guest list and explained WHO we were inviting so that she can see it’s actually kind of small.  Then I thanked her for giving in and stuff…

SO… Sarah’ll be happy if she reads this before I talk to her.  I didn’t call her since she has to work in 7 hours and is sleeping… and then I was downstairs and I apologized to Tom for blowing up the other day.  We shook hands and I think we’re cool now… (not positive… can’t read him too well….) But I did my part.

OH THE PROMISES OF TOMORROW!  So many more details to work out… so many more fights to come…   Hopefully this was the biggest/worst it’ll get.

Mood:  Relieved  ::sigh::