ooooooooooooooooh sidenote… it’s friday the 13th… creeeeeeepy….. 
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I’m done with classes for the year… freakin yeah… now I have 3 exams to take next week and stuff….. 2 are only regular tests… 1 is an all year cumulative thing… This should be fairly easy.
I figured out my grades finally. In Management, I need a 70% on the final for a B in the class. In Marketing I need a 62% on the final for a B in the class… and the other two classes I took (Tech 302 and Univ 210) are already A’s in the bag. So no matter how good I do on the first two exams, I can’t finish better than a B…. so you know what that means… NO STUDY STUDY FOR BRENT!!! heh heh…
Tonight is Euchre night in the lobby. It’s a tournament that another RA and I are putting on. We got all kinds of fun prizes and stuff. Hopefully at least a decent amount of people will show up and we can have a good tournament! We maxed out the room at 32 people…. but I doubt we’ll have that… (then again, we may have 50!) OK, word. Must do laundry…. 
I have SOOOO much laundry…. HAHAHA… ok. Cya. Maybe. If my clothes don’t eat me.
Mood: uhh.. fine? 
Music: Oval Opus – (no specific song, I just got the new album, “Red Sky Recovery”)
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Exam suck-o-rama… Yeah so I have this “quiz” to take… in my Management 305 class. I NEEDED all the points I could get here… so I actually studied for it. I’ve never studied for anything in this class and still aced the quizzes (not the tests, thus the reason I needed the points…).
So I studied last night. Then I got there and the prof’s like, “Yeah this is probably the easiest quiz of the year.” I’m thinking, “sweet…” Then I took it…. and failed it. That’s right… BIG FAT F! We got done and I said, “I thought you said this would be easy!” He looked shocked and asked the class to raise their hand if they thought it was easy relative to past quizzes. Not one hand was raised. Yeah. His response, “hmm… oh well.”
THANKS FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP MORON! Ah well… as long as I get all the participation points and get at least a 70 percent on the final, I’ll get a B. I’d be happy with that.
My Marketing 300 class has me on edge too. If I get a 90 on the final, I’ll get a B in the class…. …. that most likely will NOT happen… but it’s worth a shot.
My Tech302 class is a joke…. I need to get a 3 on the final to get an A in the class… that’s right… a 3. I can totally guess on all multiple choice questions… not answer anything else and the odds are that I’ll at least get 3 right. HAHA sweet.
See, give me a class that I care about and I can rock it. VCT, computer, tech… I’m all about that… give me Management, Marketing, Accounting, Art…. any of those… and I’ll get a B…. er A if I’m lucky… ok, back to lounging around before my last class of Tech302 EVER!
Mood: Frustrated at stupid MGMT prof! {insert angry face here}
Music: Kyle Gray – Open Door (great song… IM me and I’ll send it to you)
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Yeah… so there was this big “falling out” with an old friend last year… and things were kinda odd between us…. and I tried my hardest to get back to being friends… but all they ever did was ignore me… and blow me off when I said hi… and stuff…. then complain about how we aren’t friends anymore and blame me… so now they went through and removed me from their list…. …. so… I took her off my list too…. and I just give up.
I don’t get it… I did nothing wrong to this girl… other than say, “yeah… I knew you liked me… sorry but it’s not mutual.” We had established in the beginning that it was going to be NOTHING more than friendship… So when she let it become more, and I didn’t… I’m the mean one? Then I started dating Sarah… and now… she hates us both. …. whatever…. Honestly… what the crap was I supposed to do? I was as gentle as I could be… I never meant to hurt her… but because I liked someone else, whom I’m now dating and madly in love with… I’M THE BAD GUY??? I’m lost on the issue… so to that, I say, “Adieu.” I tried. I can’t please everyone. Sorry.
Girls are so weird. Grudges, double meanings, and overall mood swings…. so strange…. so strange…..
Mood: Not letting myself be flustered over someone else’s actions.
Music: All American Rejects – Swing Swing
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yeah… so the Detroit Redwings beat down the St. Louis Blues like they stole something… 4-3 in overtime…. but I firmly believe the Redwings were just feeling sorry for the Blues so they let it be a close game.
OK, to bed. Been up for 18 hours… feelin a little blah.
Mood: tired!
Music: HAHA… “Deliver Us” from the movie The Prince Of Egypt
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jeeze… I just feel led to not talk about anything on here cuz I’m so busy with school crap, work crap, RA crap, and …. ummm…. crap. But alas, I feel dumb not updating forever, and I KNOW that you ALL LOVE hearing about my life…. ::questioning look on face:: … …. right. SO… on with it.
OK, well I stayed up till 4:30am on wednesday workin on a (it ended up being) 9 page technology assessment thang… noted below… that was due online at 12:00am…. ok I know it was late, but honestly, I don’t think they’ll mind the 4 hour differential…. and if they do, ah well, I tried. Then I got up for work thursday and went in to finish installing the copiers across our 20 some computers so they work as network printers…
My heart was about ripped out that day… I was about to leave when Mark Bernard (my boss) called me in to his office and asked if I had a minute. I realized that I didn’t…. but said yeah… and we then talked about my future with CedarCreek. Apparently the looks of me going full-time this summer are pretty much zilch and I have to go to school full-time and work part-time next year again…. not a problem yet, I can take out more loans… go more in debt… we’re still ok… Then Mark tells me that CedarCreek may NEVER have a need for me to be full-time in multimedia. …. ….. Have you ever had a career mapped out in your head for 3 years that seemed so solid…. then had it crushed with one sentence? Yeah.
A lot went through my head in a very very short amount of time. I recalled back in 1999 when I decided that I wanted to go into full-time ministry as a career… I decided that my life was not going to be about making money… (and I know I could make a kililng if I wanted to) But that instead I would devote my skills to God and serve the church.
I recalled first going part-time on staff at CedarCreek after volunteering for nearly 5 years… Yeah, I was on my way.
I recalled the fact that I was in a degree program which I never intended to use since I have always figured I’d stay at CedarCreek and just be brought on full-time staff! I’ve spent years of co-op experience at CedarCreek… when I may have very well needed to be getting “real world” experience outside of the church so that I have something for a resume!!! I’ve always thought of my degree as something to fall back on…. when now the possibility has arisen that it may be all that can hold me up to begin with….
A little unexpected…. the boat is rocking…. I’m holding on. Mark then told me that he’s not sure of the future… but they don’t see CedarCreek hiring another full-time media guy (me) since we already have Kyle full time and me part time…. OK… realize that if I DON’T go full time… you’re going to lose me altogether as I have to make something of myself and support a family! I can’t live on part-time salary! Realize that Kyle knows SQUAT about our technical setup…. Kraig Mackett just quit…. I’m the ONLY TECH NERD LEFT! I KNOW that they can’t afford to lose me…. If I go… man… I just don’t understand it. The really sad part is… NO ONE but Kraig understood the volume or scope of work that I do there. The ONLY way the staff will realize how vital I am to the background operations of the church… is if I slack off and don’t work…. and THAT’S not right either! I shouldn’t HAVE to do that, and I won’t!
Mark then said that there could possibly be an area of full-time for me eventually… maybe leaning more towards the Computer Network and Repair stuff…. (that’s what I really want anyway…) But he quickly stated the future of that being unknown and not for quite some time….
God, I want so bad to devote my time and talent in this area… to sacrifice the wealth of corporate life… to work in the church…. so WHY is it so hard? I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. It’s so frustrating, but I know God will work it out eventually… I’ll make it somewhere…. ::sigh:: So, dreams cracked but still holding together with string and tape…. I stand content for now.
“Be joyful always…. give thanks in all circumstances…” Yeah…. is this my circumstance? I guess so…. We did an interview with Jyl Dushane a few weeks back… she is in remission from a bout of cancer. She talked about this verse and how God wants us to be joyful… not happy… not getting by… but joyful. Joy comes from the heart.
After realizing this… I took some time to think about how joyful I really am for God giving me the chance to work at CedarCreek. I’ve grown so much there as a person, a christian, and an employee… let alone learned a LOT about myself. I am so thankful for what I have. I don’t deserve the life I live. I’ve got an awesome job…. even if it is temporary or up in the air…. it’s here now… and the future is God’s concern…. I’ve got an amazing woman who loves me very much… and whom I can’t get enough of….. I’m getting a college education… I’ve got friends… the talents God has given me are SO COOL…. And most importantly, I’ve got a relationship with the very creator of this universe…. a one-on-one relationship. He loves me despite my whining, failing, and stupid decisions. I don’t deserve any of them…. Not one.
Funny how it all works out in the end….
Mood: Destressing… tired… but content… and joyful
Music: Oval Opus – Bourbon Street
Oval Opus – Bourbon Street
Sitting on a side street, as glancing eyes turn away.
Searching for answers in a song, and the cats that run away.
Hey Mr. Businessman, won’t you go on home to you deluxe accomodations.
Cause tonight the sky’s my ceiling and I think I see some light behind the moon.
Yeah, things get tough on Bourbon Street
And the days they go by slow
I’ll find peace within myself
Cause oh I know it lies between my heart and soul.
The tower has the clock, but the hour is mine so I think I’ll make the best of it.
The rest I must have forgotten, but the feeling is there so I guess I cared just a little bit.
The dog days have begun, and I guess what’s why the cats they run to the country.
So I’ll just sing my song and thank the Lord for what he’s given me.
Yeah, things get tough on Bourbon Street
And the days they go by slow
I’ll find peace within myself
Cause oh I know it lies between my heart and soul.
All the years have taught me that to learn is not so easy.
It’s the pain that we endure through tribulations.
The night is just a window of a day that holds tomorrow.
But now it’s just a haze.
Sitting on a side street, as glancing eyes turn away.
Searching for answers in a song and the cats that run away.
Yeah, things get tough on Bourbon Street
And the days they go by slow
I’ll find peace within myself
Cause oh I know it lies between my heart and soul.
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Holy Freakin Cow… xanga is back up and running… ok… update.
Thanksgiving break went way too fast and I had a cold… acutally, still have a cold. It sucks. I miss Sarah like crazy and she’ll be home tomorrow! We’re gonna go to lunch and then spend tomorrow night hanging out together.
We got mad snow today so I skipped my last class and stayed inside. I’m sick enough already… don’t need to go out in that criggity crizzap.
Speakin of bein sick, last night was the worst night of sleep for me… ever. I went to bed with a well-meaning heart of getting 10.5 hours of sleep. I didn’t fall asleep till an hour into it… then I proceeded to wake up every 10 minutes. Literally. I could almost set my watch to it. I felt SO angry by about 3:30am… I wanted to knock myself out, but that required getting out of bed and running into the wall really hard…. and I didn’t want to move. PLUS, I had no night time drugs to put me to sleep either… stupid cold. First I’m too hot… then too cold… then … too asleep… so I have to wake up… at every possible moment that my brain gets rest… GRRR!!!!
Now I’m writing a 7 page Technology Assessment on the Segway HT. Check it out… it’s kinda cool… http://www.segway.com and I need dinner… and to finish this… so tomorrow won’t suck as much. WORD!
Mood: Crabby cuz no sleep despite best efforts
Music: Bruce Springsteen – Secret Garden (Cuz I woke up to it and it’s playin again now… how odd…)
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She’s home!
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OK… it’s done. Classes are over, meetings are over, Sarah went home. I’m just hanging out till tomorrow so I can go home too.
I’m kinda worried about Sarah now though! It’s snowing outside and she left here at 2:30…. She’ll hit Dayton at about 4:30ish and won’t be home till 5:00ish assuming she stays out of traffic. But anyway, some parents just called here and told the front desk that they need to get ahold of their son and that they can’t drive up here cuz it’s snowing so hard down there. I’m really hoping they are just wusses and that it’s not THAT bad! I don’t want Sarah to have to drive in something really nasty. I know she hates driving in bad weather anyway! I’m just praying for God to protect her and she’s supposed to call me when she gets home. BAH! I hate having to sit on my hands. I don’t want to call her and warn her cuz I don’t want her panicking and I know that she is smart enough to see, “Hey… it’s snowing really hard here.” So what can I tell her that isn’t obvious and will just freak her out more?
OK… gotta keep busy till that phone rings or I’ll go nuts. Have a good Thanksgiving all. I’ll be back online in a week!
Mood: Worried!
Music: Nichole Nordeman – Gratitude
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I stole this from another journal… I thought it was good.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Mood: BUSY but ok. 
Music: Blues Traveler – The Heart Brings You Back